Why did Jesus Respond the Way He Did When His Family Came to See Him?

Why did Jesus not go to His family when they sent for Him? And why did He respond as He did to their visit? These are great questions and ones that I will tackle in this blog post. The nerve, you say! Hang on, I believe what the Lord shared around this same time in His Word really answers these questions for us, although somewhat indirectly. He truly experienced everything that we do even though His family and followers knew He was the Son of God.. Remember, He never minced or wasted words, and I believe everything He said then and says now is to encourage us that whatever we face, He faced first and He had it worst.

Three Scriptures give us clues as to reasons for His response when He was told His family had came to see Him and wanted Him to come to them. We are not told whether He went to them eventually, but He certainly did not drop what He was doing to obey their summons. Instead, He used it as a teachable moment. Jesus told us in several Scriptures what might have been the scenario to explain His response to His followers about his visiting relatives..

First, He told us what type of response to our calling we might expect from our families:
"A prophet is not without honor but in his own home." This same statement was made in three somewhat different ways but with the same meaning. People who are familiar with you have a difficult time recognizing you for who you are in Christ, especially regarding His equipping and giftings to do His bidding. Let's look at these accounts.

In Matthew 13:57, 

"So they were offended at Him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country and in his own house.”

In Mark 6:4, 

"But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.”

John 4:44

"For Jesus Himself testified that a prophet has no honor in his own country."

Second, and in connection to the first point, we see that, "He could not do many miracles there but healed a few sick people." This was in His Home town. We are told their level of unbelief was so great that miracles did not flow in that atmosphere. Here is the account in Mark 6:1-6.

Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. ² And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, “Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! ³ Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him. 4 But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.”  ⁵ Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. ⁶ And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.

You've heard it said, "familiarity breeds contempt." People are offended when they perceive that you are trying to hold yourself out as special. The contempt comes from that offense. They are offended that you think you're special. This offense is quite blinding because if they were to stop and submit to God, then they would realize that they, too, are special. That is by God's design. Everyone of us is a unique version of ourselves. Not even the most identical of identical twins are exactly identical. We each have our own unique set of finger prints, tongue print (yes, I said, tongue), eyes, body shape, and the list goes on. And that's before we include the spiritual gifts each person received from God that are unique to them. The point is, there ought not be any competition among us. Jealousy is a device of the evil one to bring disunity. We should rejoice when people are yielded to God in using all of who they are to glorify Him, and to expand His Kingdom.


Third, and this is our focus, in Matthew 12, Jesus was busy ministering God's Word when His earthly family came to visit Him so they requested that He come to them at the gate. His response was shocking to say the least, especially to moms. Here is the account in Matthew:

Matthew 12:46-50

46 While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him.  ⁴⁷ Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.”              48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?”  ⁴⁹ And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  ⁵⁰ For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”

And in Mark:

Mark 3:31-35

31 Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him.  ³² And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.”   33 But He answered them, saying, “Who is My mother, or My brothers?”   ³⁴ And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! ³⁵ For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.”

Note His response: "Who is my mother, my brother, and my sister, but those who do the will of God." This is what the Lord quickened to me recently: it is very common, if not expected, that one's own family has a very difficult time receiving the person as anything other than their sibling, daughter, son, mother, father, etc. And perhaps more so if they are a minister and used by God in many ways that honestly are even needed within that family. But you would be hard-pressed to do any miracles there because the lack of receptivity and unbelief would be so high. It is impossible? Of course not. But Jesus was saying that's the norm so get used to it. And I believe we are to be humble about it but not let it overshadow, dumb down or  thwart the ministry God does through us. No need to be obnoxious but not need to become a turtle either. 

Yes, I believe His family came to see Him during such a period of, for lack of a better word, "dishonor." Notice, they summoned Him to come to them. If you really believed in His ministry and that your big Brother and Son was the Son of God, would you summon Him like a little boy while He was working, or go to Him or better yet, wait until He was done to see Him afterwards. I realize some of this seems like conjecture as I flesh this out but given what Jesus was saying, it just might have been the case. It is at least not inconsistent which with very words of encouragement to His disciples. 

What do you do when you hold a person in higher esteem than yourself? Do you summon them to your presence or do you go to where they are, and wait for them if per chance you can get a personal meeting? It's the dignitary's schedule one needs to fit into not the other way around. Get my point? Jesus was having this very challenge in His life and so He encouraged us with the Scripture that we can expect to be dishonored among our own blood relatives and not to be surprised because He was first. And since we are not the King of kings and Lord of lords, it should be even more expected in our lives. God will use you with those who are willing to received His ministry through you. However, through His grace and mercy our own just might come into the fold and join hands as they choose to. In the meantime, we remain humble and love and serve our families according to God's plan....always. 

So let's take all of this together. You will notice all tree of these points happen in close proximity in the Scriptures. Therefore, this should lend credibility to my main point that Jesus was experiencing this rejection and persecution among his family and countrymen. As a matter of fact the Gospels explicitly tell us this even in the Messianic OT Scriptures such as Isaiah 53:1-9. 

Isaiah 53:3 

He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 

That is why He focused His ministry on those who cared to receive it. Many followed Him, some were presented to Him by family members, while others sent for Him. Jesus never forced Himself into anyone's life or heart, neither did He use any forceful or manipulative ways to get anyone to either listen to His message or follow Him. That must always be by a person's free will. And of course, to love Him is to obey Him and to follow in His footsteps. Disciples are followers, not those who give lip-service only but those who are connected to the Vine and bear fruit. (See John 15 where Jesus taught His disciples lessons about the Kingdom in a vineyard).

Again, I believe the Lord is encouraging us that unless "called upon" by Holy Spirit or given an invitation in some form by the receivers who are family members, friends, or associates, to 'minister' in our giftings - whether it is deliverance, healing, prayer, etc. - we are to be , the loving spouse, sibling, son, daughter, or parent, until there is that willingness to receive from the Lord through us - via our physical tent and spiritual giftings. Sometimes it just won't happen, while at other times, by God's amazing grace, change takes place so that God would be able to use you among your own. When that happens, it's a glorious and beautiful time. But all of the glory must go to Him.

This is not a pleasant business and long-suffering, patience, and perseverance are crucial in these times and situations. However, I believe it keeps us humans ministers humble as God continues to build our character of loving in all situations. This happens when not everyone accepts us in terms of our gifts right away, otherwise, we will feel the need to always be considered special or set apart and not in the way God intended it. Until we can responsibly administer our gifts, God allows some to dishonor us but woe to those who do when it is undeserving. And to those who glorify Him in how He uses us, He offers blessings. I have seen it so many times. 

I can think of not better words to end this post than those of Jesus when He said in 
Matthew 10:40-42: 

“He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me. ⁴¹ He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward. And he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward. ⁴² And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.”

God bless you, friends. Please remember to post a comment if this has blessed you in anyway.